She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
