Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
