she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
