Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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