Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
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I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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