My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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