I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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