Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
