I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
