my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i think im in europe. pls send help
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
