I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
