You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
