It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
