Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize