is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
