I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize