I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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