I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just had sex on a roof
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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