well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
