he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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