He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
