mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize