My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
