Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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