It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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