I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
