The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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