He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
