he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
