Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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