she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.