How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.