I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His hands were made for my vagina.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."