so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line