People with herpes should wear stickers.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday