tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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