eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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