i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Text me some of your sweat
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
