How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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