Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
