Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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