he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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