there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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