too bad you live with your parents still
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think people are normalizing furries
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
