It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
