road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think your dad took our porno
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
