so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
