I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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