just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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