Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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