do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just high enough for therapy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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