Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Randomize
