there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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