Walk of Shame. In a state park.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
