I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
