I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's just like the Real World with babies
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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