thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
