My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
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Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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