he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize