Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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