ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
