Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I deserve this hangover.
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