I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
