he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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